Holding grudges

I think I'm gonna' die of an ulcer some day. A great big one working in conjunction with a heart attack. I'm pissed off today. I am pissed off because of a small thing, but it's because of an ongoing problem at work. I won't go into details, because the point of this blog is to cool down without making a big fuss.

I'm wishing for the life of me I could figure out how to let go of grudges and confrontations more easily. The incident that's bothering me happened almost a half hour ago, but my stomach/chest is still tight, and I'm still trying to breathe normally. This isn't healthy. I know it's not. But I'm still doing it.

I'm writing/typing this out in hopes that I'll talk myself down. It doesn't seem to be working. Maybe if I read it over..? Nope. Reading it over just makes it worse.

Well, I'm doing my best to make sure I don't start a fight or anything. That's the best I can do. This isn't high school, so I shouldn't feel the fear of a confrontation like I still do. I think I'm worried I'll get hit physically (subconsciously) if I piss someone off. But I'm an adult. So are my co-workers. I shouldn't be feeling this. It doesn't help that I'm the youngest in the office, and it seems like everyone sees me that way, too, instead of as an equal.

Okay... let it go. Just let it go. No, seriously... let it go. *sighs* can't let it go... what do I do?